Don’t be a Douche: Are your really too busy?

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Disclaimer: I’m totally calling myself out here in hopes that I can change some habits.

Humans are beautiful, complicated piles of shit. And I’m one of them. We all are.

For the past year every time someone asked me how things were going my answer was always, ‘Busy. A good busy. But busy’. But was I? Was I really that busy?

Yes. I filled my days with stuff. Lots of stuff from building websites for clients to photo shoots to designing Facebook ads to bookkeeping to volunteering for boards, blah, blah, blah… You don’t need my overloaded to do list. You most likely have one yourself.

Then, I got sick. And like I said in my last post, everything just stopped.

Ok Universe, I gotcha! Slow your roll.

So, I have. Yay me!

But in the aftermath as I’ve re-evaluated my life + everything {and everyone} in it, it’s been pretty eye opening to see good humans miss-behaving. And then to realize I was one of them. Did I make others feel this way too? This, being the feeling that I don’t matter to people as much as they do to me + like I’m not worth their very precious time.

This, ‘I’m so busy’ answer is bullshit.

I’m not going to re-hash the whole being sick story again {but mark my word I’m gonna milk it for everything its worth}. This is the piece of the story that came after all the drama.

Being sick really made me realize that I highly value my close, personal friends + relationships. And afterward, I've made an effort to connect with those that I love + spend time with them because we don’t know how much time we have on this earth. I want to connect + catch up. I'm not looking for sympathy, I really just wanted to talk about life + what’s going on in both our worlds.

So many have responded with, ‘great, when’s good for you?’ But a few have responded with, ‘GREAT! I would love too. I’m really busy so…’ You finish with whatever it is that you are so busy doing; working, laundry, kicking ass. This is not normally an answer that bothers me + I’ve definitely given that same answer hundreds of thousands of times.

But this time, it felt different.

It felt like I didn’t matter. Like I wasn’t important enough or good enough for them to take an hour + chat with me about how they are doing + what’s happening.

OMG! Is this how I made others feel when I gave that same ‘I’m so busy’ answer? I’m such a douche.

I totally realize that those friends don’t mean anything bad by it and are not intentionally trying to hurt my feelings. They really are busy. We all are. It could be that I’m being overly sensitive after a traumatic life event. Or it could be because I’m not so busy anymore. But it made me feel bad + I apologize for all those times that someone wanted to connect with me + I was just 'too busy'.

I’ve written about the concept of being too busy before with ways to cut out the hustle + I’m all for saying no to things {+ people} that I don’t need or want to be doing. And I do NOT recommend rupturing your appendix as a way to slow down. But I do caution: don’t be a douche + think about the person that is reaching out to you. They are looking to connect with you so give them the respect they deserve whether that’s simply making the time for them {if you like them} or not.

What are your thoughts on our ‘too busy’ society? Are we getting too busy? Do you feel the effects of being ‘too busy’? Leave me a comment and let me know if I’m just being overly sensitive here {probably}.